to see Heaven in a wild flower

First of all, thanks to the Lord for today. Also thank God for giving me the precious love and help from His people. I’m not able to put all your names here. I know God must bless you. The only thing that I could do is to share my experience with you. Thanks to the Lord.

I used to be a person who was eager for a feeling of security but never found it anywhere. I knew there must be a God and I believed that he loved me a lot, but I didn’t know Him, also I didn’t know how to look for Him and please Him. I just took it for granted that He must give me all that I want for no reason. I was given a lot at that time and I attributed all of them to my luck and the favour of God to me for no reason.

Three years ago, I first heard of the name of Jesus Christ from my boss and later my good friend, Lydia. However, I turned my back to her and the sisters she introduced to me, including Heddy. Also I never came to any church in Stoke although I was here for a whole year.

In these three years, I encountered a lot of unexpected difficulties, which made me feel disappointed with people, with the world and also with myself. I had a very difficult time psychologically for more than one year but I kept all this to myself as I knew nobody in the world would make me feel completely safe. However, the wonderful thing was, Lydia happened to call me or email me whenever I was in trouble. She told me a lot of stories of herself and her Christian friends, which impressed me a lot for they had even harder time than mine but they were still living happily. Lydia also invited me to have dinners and join the guitar class with her church members. I saw a different life with her and her friends. I was totally attracted by it. At the same time, I recalled many things happened to me and I realized that it was God the Lord who’s always there leading me and teaching me. He used to tell me what I should do in a lot of incredible ways, but I didn’t follow His advice and made mistakes. I also remembered that whenever I heard His guidance and obeyed, there were miracles.  

This was the start of me following Jesus Christ. I met and am still dealing with even greater challengers since then. However, with the firm support of His love, I learn to pray and seek for help from the Lord Himself. I’m always encouraged by His words and the life of his faithful servants who He sends to me continuously. I know He is here always with me and I am always safe in Him. I’m changed by Him. Thanks to the Lord. He means everything to me.

Now here, I’d like to say to God:

Thank You Lord. It is You who supplies me with everyday food as well as safe and warm places to stay.

Thank You Lord. It is You who leads me out of the shadow of death time after time. Thank You Lord. It is You who blesses me and keeps me always.

You are the one who knows my actual needs. You love me, but You never mean to spoil me. Your love is the most precious thing to me. Every day I read Your words. I see Your smile in all Your creatures. I hear Your voice whenever I seek You with all my heart. I know You are here, holding me tightly, never let me down. 

Thank You Lord for giving the life of Yourself to me. Thank You Lord for setting a perfect example of life for me by sending Your own Son to die for me. You teach me the secret of life and love; make me strong by being with me. You are the only one that I depend on. You are the only one who is here with me for ever and ever. You fill my heart with peace and joy whatever happens to me. You are my Lord. I need nothing but You. I long for the day that You come back again.

I’m nothing but a sinner. Lord, please forgive me. I turned my back to You again and again, but You never let me go. I was proud. I was dependent on earthly security. I loved the world more than You. I did everything with my own power rather than to seek for Your wisdom. I used to put my trust on the people whom You send to me rather than on Yourself. I only showed my appreciation to You when I was in easy situations and complained when I was in difficulties. I was in such a miserable life, without any real happiness and security. However, Lord You still love me in Your own way. When I experienced Your love and when I heard Your voice for the first time, my life started to change. I am being renewed little by little every day by Your love. Thank you my Lord.

And now I’m here to commit myself, this unworthy life to You. Please, Lord, make me completely dead to sin, cleanse me with the precious blood of Your son, Jesus Christ, and fill me with the Holy Spirit. Please purify my heart so that I can live a brand-new life in Jesus Christ which is like Yours so that I can glorify You with this life, to influence more people to seek You.

I commit my life to You. I will follow you, obey you in all my life. You are my master and I am your servant. Although I don’t know what You have arranged for me, I trust in Your plan and I’m glad that I’m part of it. I’m clay in Your hands, Lord. Please mould me into a useful vessel to glorify You.

May Your will be done.

Please take me, my Lord, my God. Amen.